


The bleeding moon

by pushpeeta



Series: You don't get me high anymore [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Tony Stark, F/M, Gen, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Not Captain America Friendly, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Parent Tony Stark, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 02:06:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19189714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushpeeta/pseuds/pushpeeta
Summary: He remembered that time Morgan asked him what his favourite colour is and Tony said,"Pink""Pink,really?Like that hot pink dress of mommy?""No, like your blush"After that Morgan never looked at pink the same way."Daddy?""Yes,dear?""Please don't ... go?""Sure,"A fake smile.A pair of teary eyes.In that moment,Morgan knew he was leaving.OR,One peaceful night before it all fell down.





	The bleeding moon

Tony thought the world looked a little different at night.

Calm,almost inviting... like he could just drawn all his sorrow there,calm down his brain for once.

He doesn't like staying at home when the moon is bleeding red.

Morgan loved the night too. Liked to peer through the window of her treehouse at the endless sky,at the reflection of the stars in the lake. The smell of lily heavy in the air.

She had the whole night ritual thing memorized since.... forever? From the beginning to the end.

First they will share their secrets of the day.

And one common aspect is those secrets can never be told to mom. Like that time daddy took her to their "secret treehouse" in the middle of the night cause it was full moon.

They successfully came back without getting caught by mom.

But then...she really, really wanted to have some juice pops before going to bed and that's how mommy caught them in red,no, juice- stained hands.

Today's secret was a big,big one though.  
But daddy didn't reveal it till the very end.

After tucking her in to bed dad simply started singing "their song"

Morgan loved his singing voice.So,she didn't interrupted him.

"You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum"

She didn't know if it was just her or if his voice really seemed catchier than other days.

"I love you so and I want you to know"  
Or judging by how small his voice is  
may be they should have icy juice pops in the middle of the night less often.

"That I'll always be right here"  
Okay, change of plan. May be not in the midnight. Never in the midnight.Because he sounds like he's about to cry...And Morgan hates to see him cry.

And no body knows,not even daddy,that she has seen him cry more times than they both would like to admit.

He cries in his sleep. About someone hitting him in his chest.Hard. Sometimes he will clunth his chest painfully. Other days his stomach. Sometimes he dreams he is falling, like there's not enough air.

She knows he'll never admit. And she doesn't make him.She gently lays down with him.Hugs him as tight as she can.

He always reaches towards her by blind instincts.He knew her touch,the sound of her footfall. He even knew her breathing patterns.

Though she had no words, she murmured lovingly and he understood her gentle murmuring better than all speech.She would throw her arms round his neck; she would rub her cheek against her father's.

And it would always calm him down.

She thought may be she needs to do the same thing this time.

She hopes it will work.

"And I love to sing sweet songs to you"  
She threw herself in his arms and finished the last line together.

"Because you are so,so dear"  
He hugged her tight and didn't show any indication of letting go anytime soon.She was more than happy to oblige.

She doesn't know how long they stayed like that.Then daddy cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead.

Which was another part of their night ritual. She almost forgot. Well, almost.

Then he surprised her and kissed her forehead. Again.

Okay,that was definitely special. But not abnormal. He tends to do that.

On those days, when she stays specially a good little girl.Every year on her birthdays.Everytime she achieves something new.

Or,when he has one of those bad days.

And sometimes just because...she thinks this kiss falls into none other than the "just because" category.

But then something astonishing happened.

He kissed.Again.

Whoa. That's crazy.

Her eyes go big like the saucer and she shoots those big brown eyes to another identical pair.

As soon as their eyes met it was as though she could guess his anguish of spirit from his quiet look of sadness. Coming closer to him, she rubbed her cheeks softly against his arms, and in dumb, puzzled fashion tried to comfort him.

Finally couldn't being able to hold it anymore she cupped his face in the same way he does whenever she wakes up from a nightmare,then looked straight into his eyes and said,"what's the big secret daddy? what's wrong?"

He looked shocked at the surreal amount of maturity in her voice and for the first time in his life,tony stark was...speechless.

"Uhh, what are you talking about, little miss?You are with me,see?what can be wrong?"

But if anything,it just bluntly declared to her that something was indeed very wrong.

"Daddy,what is it? I promise I won't tell mom."

He looked at her as a stricken doe looks in the hunter's face, whispering in silent agony,"umm,bussiness trip... there's this business trip daddy needs to attend..."

"But I thought that boring stuff was for mommy..."

"Well,you know what, Morgan? For someone so little you really captured the meaning of life..."

"Just send mommy to do it, she is bored anyway...yesterday I found her glaring at a cat,she claimed she was practicing 'the eyebrows' "

"God,I feel bad for those employees..."

"How did you do it,dad?"

"Huh, don't ask me.Nightmare,pure nightmare...Sit stotic all day.Look professional. All mannerism.No you can't touch that. That is mehegony. Make any shenanigans,and poof...you are dead....how about you just let me live and i don't know may be climb a tree or build a tree house and all that..."

Morgan chuckled and Tony willed himself to capture that sound deep,deep inside his memory.

"Give yourself some credit,dad.I wish to be as genius as you"

"Twelve percent?"

"Geez,no,aim higher"

"Okay,on a scale of 1 to 3000 because three thousand is the new infinity now how much credit should I give myself?"

"How about three thousand square?"

"For so long, I thought that's going to be my life.And now I think, ‘Oh, my God, me and the missus will be here until the grandkids attend our funerals. We’ll always be here. We’ll never move from here. Crazy."

And that's when the reality of what Tony just said sinks into him.

It's true. He doesn't wanna move.He doesn't wanna...live. After all of these...he...he... just...

He doesn't want to think about tomorrow.  
For a moment, just for a moment,he let his emotions run wild because...

just because it feels so good.

Too good to be real.

He wants to live in this moment.

For and ever.

He just blurted out his wildest dreams even though it was about to get ruined.

Just like everything else in his life.

All his life he has been thriving for a place,a place where he can go,a place where he belongs,a place where he is...loved.

And now that he finally has it...no,he can't think like that.Not now.

He takes one look at his daughter,  
who was trying to suppress a smile as soon as it emerges but the hopes were sipping through her eyes.

And he...he wanted to feel it.

One more time.

"So you are not going then?we,ahh, --we can finish the Lego set tomorrow. And pizza, movie nights...And mom,she can practice her glare on them,those are for moms,my dad is--"

"A mechanic?or better yet the dishwasher-man? But I have to tell you,for the record, these dishwashing stuffs are really underrated, Morgan,where are you--"

Tony watched as she went to the closet sprinting leaving him to anticipate what crazy idea came to her head this time, God,she really was a lively thing,handful sometimes,and,boy,did he love her?

"Ironman," Morgan,or should he say ironman,emerged from the closet,with the mask and repulsor gloves ,"my dad is ironman,earth's best defender, the strongest avenger...", she said moving her hands anematically.

She pointed one of her gloves at him and giggled ,"Boom!"

Tony pretended to drop dead.

She tiptoed near him, touched his face,her hands were bare now,the repulsor gloves were abandoned on the floor.

"Dad?" less than a whisper,so small.

Tony decided to play a little hard. Didn't move, didn't budge.

And everything went quite for a while,Tony wondered what she was up to this time.

Next thing he knew it was raining down on him.Little raindrops fell down on his face.But was it raindrop though?

Cause last he checked it was summer and even if it rained he was inside his house.

Little did he know there was a little cloud hanging in his house. Yes, his sunshine has turned into a cloud. All because he was an idiot.

"Hey,shh,hey,hey,hey, I thought we were playing?"

A nod. Too engrossed in crying to manage a reply.

"I'm so sorry. Did I scare you?"

Affirmative."itw'sl'k---"

"Okay,breathe,take a breath,kiddo..."

"It was like---"

He didn't push her to say anything.

"One of m-mm...you,ahh,"she stuttered over her words, growing frustrated, finally growled," my nightmares, it's like new York,w'rmhole,y..'ou,...,'nd ,and that man telling to shu...tttt, shut it,the portal" a hiccup, "and then...youuuu,you fell,eyes closed...I..."

Tony didn't want to hear anymore.He too had nightmares about it,still raw as ever,still real,but Morgan?she shouldn't...why would she have nightmares? she's just a little girl,his little girl,she should dream about nice things... unicorns and rainbows and all that...And,and may be about candies too...not that he ever knew what childhood dreams feel like,never experienced them firsthand,cause his childhood was...yeah,less than ideal,but why would anything like that touch her ever?

"Okay,fetch up,who was it?Who told you?"

"Miss Amenda...our history teacher"

He didn't need to hear anymore. Of course,it was part of history. Of course, Morgan is shown live footages, it's was a pretty big deal,alien invasion and all...

He was going to ask why she never told him anything about it but she spoke first.

"Daddy?"

"Yes,dear?"

"Please don't ... go?"

And he knew she was not just talking about the ,uhh, which he decided to call "Bussiness trip" ; but it was beyond that...

"Sure," a fake smile. A pair of teary eyes.

When we express our thought in words, the medium is not found easily. There must be a process of translation, which is often inexact, and then we fall into error.

But brown eyes need no translating; the mind itself throws a shadow upon them. In them thought opens or shuts, shines forth or goes out in darkness, hangs steadfast like the setting moon or like the swift and restless lightning illumines all quarters of the sky.

And in that moment, Morgan knew he's leaving. But his eyes screamed that he didn't want to,she could feel it in her bones.They why?For a genius,she was an idiot.

"Ahh, Morgan... actually,I ...truth is..."

"Is that why the bland looking grandpa came?to take you away with them?The one who looks like a bird just flew away with his sandwich?"

"Yeah,yeah,if you ever feel dumb,not that you ever will,you are the brightest girl,most genius girl I know..."

"Daddy's girl..."

"Ah,yes, let me finish it...in case you ever feel blue just remember that crap-tain american-a once tried to choke a robot"

That made Morgan go pikachu and Tony misinterpreted that as wonder.

Morgan came closer to him. If that was even possible. She came near his ear,her voice barely a whispered,"Is that cap...is he," a pause, "the one?....Is he the one? who hurt you?with that sheild?"

And for the second time in that night, Anthony Edward Stark's throat was full of cotton.

After several attempts he gave up trying to talk and just focused on breathing. Yeah, breathe, that's important, that's priority,but...

"Morgu-u-u-na, H- o-w?" It seemed like he was learning those three words for the first time in his life,"You might want to stop doing that. I am just a man with heart condition and all. And I didn't know until now that I was raising a little Sherlock Holmes all along"

Morgan looks instantly taken aback, like she wanna take back her words..."Did I make you sad,,, I am sorry... I'm..."

"No, look, no...you didn't...if anything you, Morgan? look at me,yeah, look at me,"

He pointed his fingers at her and said those next words one by one, "YOU.DID.NOT.MAKE.ME.SAD....ok?OKAY?  
But daddy needs to know, Morgan? How did you know?"

Does he wanna know?Does he? Nobody knows what happened in that Siberia bunker, except him, no history teacher,no one,zip,zero,nada,and he would like it to stay that way ,,,then?who?

Morgan looks smaller than ever but her voice never sounded more mature.

"You...,you whisper in your sleep, about someone hurting you,with a...with a sheild? And I...I figured,umm" and then as if to lighten the mood she said, "genius, remember?"

She said it as a little joke but she was,oh,God,she was a genius.

Daddy's girl indeed.

And Tony...he didn't know what to say... He just focused on breathing cause panic attack in front of his girl wasn't an option right now. Just, just roll...roll with it. Your girl is Sherlock Holmes and knows your secrets,and can basically read your eyes.

No problem,nope. Peachy keen.

She suddenly sit up from his lap ,took his hands in her smaller ones .

"I have never seen anyone of them my entire life,they never checked on you...never even called you,never attended any of my birthdays or your marriage ceremony,they are nowhere in the photo album..." she said counting by her fingers.

He knows where this is going and doesn't dare to meet her eyes.

"You never even told me about them like you told me about my spider brother. They hurt you,I know they did, whether you tell me or not..."

His silence was answer enough.

"He...was also the one who commanded to close that portal, that I know for sure,it was in that footage,Why are you going with them?"

Gradually his eyes became glassy from staring at the floor.As if he could not avert his eyes from the astonishing beauty of the carpet.

She guess may be that's what heroes do.  
Reach out for people even though their hand is stained in his own blood.

She looks straight into his eyes, because it was important,"What if they hurt you again,daddy?"

He finally spoke breaking the circle of what seemed like never ending silence.

"I won't let them.I have a little miss that I need to grow up"

He hoped his voice won't sound as hollow to her as it did to him.This whole time travel thing...the chance of surviving...has made him scratch his head in uncertainty.

"You need to come back soon daddy,as soon as possible... how about you go really early in the morning and come back before lunch?"

"It might take a little, just a little longer than that"

"Dinner then?How about dinner?Tomorrow is movie night remember?We were going to have a lot of pizza."

"How about you get an extra slice of pizza?"

"So you are not coming tomorrow?"

Silence.

"Pizza is good. Not as good as you."

When he didn't reply,she said in a sing-song voice.

"We love our bread.  
We love our butter.  
But most of all  
We love each other"  
"Did you just quote 'Madeline'?"

"May be?"

"May be,huh?"He kissed her forehead again.

"Daddy,is that why you gave me four extra kisses?"

"Uh,so far,actually,three extra kisses,the first one is my daily gift for you for being such a ball of joy"

He remembered that time Morgan asked him what his favourite colour is and Tony said,"Pink"

"Pink,really?Like that hot pink dress of mommy?"

"No, like your blush"

If anything it just made her blush harder. "Uhh,thank you?"

"Of course, it's my life's goal to make you blush. Umm, Besides the dishwashing of course.A-a-a-nd occasionally being a superhero."

"The best hero. My favourite hero"

"How to flatter your dad : 101 Or, should I say how to get an extra icepop from dad:101"

"More like when your dad just can't take a compliment for what it is : 101"

Right now though her blush was one shade darker than the ironman suit, which is saying something. A new record,for sure.

Almost maroon. And it was one of her favourite colours. He knew. Red and gold.

Just like he knew her favourite song,  
Her never ending appetite for cheeseburgers,how to calm her down after a nightmare,what flower she liked,what made her blush.

And because he can never get enough,he whispered, "I love you tons" to make her blush ever harder if that was even possible.

He knew her reply.

"I love you 3000"

"Yeah?nice try. I said "tons". Plural. Meaning that I love you at least 4000.Which means I love you more. Now go to sleep or I will sell all your toys.And remember, nobody likes a nerd, Morgan"

Morgan said without missing a beat, "Don't worry. I love you.And don't you remember? Three thousand is the new infinity now"


End file.
